


Bloody transcendence

by Nalyra



Series: Stormy blue, tinged with sunlight and tar [3]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: #HannigramDay, Anal Sex, Blood, Bottom Will, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Intimacy, Kissing, M/M, Murder Husbands, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), POV First Person, POV Hannibal, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Rimming, Shower Sex, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-09 04:47:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7787338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nalyra/pseuds/Nalyra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibals POV of their first time, pure smut and feelings. </p><p>For #HannigramDay!</p><p>>>>> See series notes for more info (on writing style etc).<br/>(Wills equivalent is in 'Baptism' of 'A blackish red hue' ^^)<br/>---<br/>"He’s ethereal and my breath hitches, my fingers on the bottle opener flexing.<br/>The man before him has breathed his last breath, and -he- is left gasping, kneeling, holding himself up against the wall, shirt and body tinged in red. I step closer carefully, breathing shallowly, watching his eyes open and then snap to mine, dark with startled arousal, the aroma heavy in the air, mixing intoxicatingly with the coppery smell of all the blood spilt.<br/>[...]"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bloody transcendence

He’s ethereal and my breath hitches, my fingers on the bottle opener flexing.  
The man before him has breathed his last breath, and -he- is left gasping, kneeling, holding himself up against the wall, shirt and body tinged in red. I step closer carefully, breathing shallowly, on edge with adrenaline and fury, elation and relief, watching his eyes open and then snap to mine, dark with startled arousal, the aroma heavy in the air, mixing intoxicatingly with the coppery smell of all the blood spilt.

He laughs, no, giggles and I flex my hand on the bottle opener again, before leveling him with a indignant look that I nonetheless cannot keep, his mirth spilling forth addictively and I watch it all, trying to memorize every detail, lest the moment passes without chance of recollection. For I know very well that I will relive this precious moment again someday, with him at my side. Hopefully.  
His full laugh triggers levity in me as well and I cannot help but gaze upon him, my chest tight, wishing I could touch him now, hold him. It must show on my face because he sobers, eyes flitting over my face, unflinching and so I decide to take the chance offered, limping over to him, getting rid of the insufficient bottle opener on the way. I inspect the body on the floor for a moment, throat widely cut and then close the door behind us, shutting out the world.

I bend down slowly, carefully, and help him up, reveling in the sticky red that paints him so beautifully. I hold him up against the wall with my weight, the skin under the shirt a furnace of heat beneath my palms, and he holds onto me, squeezing tightly. There is blood everywhere, small rivulets running down his face and I have to reign in my desire to lick at it, forcing it down, concentrating instead on the necessity to ensure his well-being.

„Are you hurt?“

I almost do not recognize my voice, so rough and gravelly. He doesn’t notice, or at least this is what I hope, shaking his head, too caught up still in the moment, so close to me and yet refusing to meet my eyes. I see him swallow, the motion triggering some little drops of bloody sweat to run down his throat and I have to swallow down the desire to lick there, as well. He raises his head and his eyes stare over my shoulder for a moment before they close, adrenaline and nerves taking their toll, and I tighten my hold, his scent intoxicating beyond measure, my head lowering itself of its own accord, and I cannot help but slightly nuzzle at the hair on his nape, too weak suddenly to refuse anymore, brought down by my own need.

My heart seizes when he shifts and bares his throat to me, his voice strong despite everything, conveying it all.

„Please.“

I… stop, my thoughts a whirlwind of panicked and exultant voices, all vying for dominance, while my heart refuses to listen. There is no room for interpretation here, no room for failure, this, this, all that I have ever wanted, for so many years now.  
I feel like I am falling again, another cliff, maybe even more dangerous this time and I go willingly, again, feeling gravity shift and I groan, the effect echoed and instantly felt, pressing against my leg, triggering a feverish relief in me. The hunger cannot be contained anymore and I finally, finally latch onto him like I have imagined so often now, my mouth traveling along his throat, coppery sweat mixed with -him- on my tongue, my teeth finding his pulse, scraping before traveling further, until I can feel his panted breath on my lips. The small whine that leaves him shudders through me and I pull him close, feeling his nails on my arms, latching onto me, desperately.

„Will…“

My whisper makes him open his eyes for a moment and I know he -sees- me, and he plunges us down a cliff once more, closing the final distance, the kiss instantly wide and wet and heat and I take advantage of his offer as well and possess him, my tongue going deep, feeling him suck on it and I press ever closer, holding him up with my body, my left hand dropping down and I feel the heat through his pants, the touch shattering him and I eat his scream, sacrificed to me, only fueling my hunger more, spiraling us out of control.

____________________________

 

I draw back slowly, my tongue lightly mapping his lips before retreating, the sound that leaves him doing its best to take me towards ecstasy. It makes me hungry for him in a way I have seldom felt, but then I shouldn’t be surprised, no-one has ever made me feel as he has done and does. I withdraw my hand from between his legs reluctantly, and lean close, my lips almost touching his ear, feeling this truth deep within me.

„When I am done with you, there will be no past to erase between us anymore. Only the future to come.“

He twitches against me and I grin for a moment, unseen by him, knowing an erogenous zone when I see one and I feel him loosen his fingers and decide to try out my theory, drawing my tongue up the shell of his ear and he jerks against me, hard. I grin again, the possibilities flashing in my mind making me almost light headed. Still, this must not be rushed or endangered by thoughtless behavior. Not this time. Not ever again. I silently wish there was another way but then direct questions almost always yield the best results.

„So responsive. Have you ever been on the receiving end with your partners?“

I feel him hesitate and pull back, shielding nothing from him, locking gazes. Will snorts softly and groans and smiles and I just must, pushing forward, and I grind into him, hard, making him respond in a deep, breathless voice. 

„Your fishing for the information if I’ve ever been with a man could use some finesse, Doctor Lecter.“

He’s teasing me, and it makes me happy that he dares, here, now, in this, deciding that this delightful impertinent behavior should not go unpunished though and I pull back the collar of his shirt and bite into the muscle there, bruising though not drawing blood, some parts of me screaming to. But not now, I do not wish to hurt him and I do not yet know whether he is so inclined. I draw back up, see the goosebumps everywhere, the heavy arousal in his eyes and I smirk, viciously glad, my mouth just over his, responding in kind.

„I would like to have all the information at hand, lest I lose myself in the moment and hurt you.“

Will snorts again. He looks at me through his lashes, fanned prettily out, dark with sweat and blood, shadows obscuring his eyes.

„You like to hurt me. I’m bearing your ownership and our history all over me.“

It’s true and yet it angers me, some of the marks testament to errors in judgement indeed. I know he teases though and so I force the feeling down, for later analyzation, keeping the fury that wants to rear its ugly head at bay.

„We both do, but I will not hurt you more than absolutely necessary. I hope the future will hold enough time to explore our diverse proclivities, if this is something you wish to do, but I think we both have paid with enough blood and pain for a respite.“

Will swallows and his voice is hesitant. I wait patiently, this a crucial discussion for us, indeed. When he speaks I release a slow breath, unconsciously kept.

„I… I don’t want you to hurt me in this. And you’re right, I’ve never been with a man. Well, until just now….“

I had expected it and yet it is like a punch in the gut, fierce possessiveness pouring through me, exultation at being the first, my arousal at a feverish pitch. On a professional level I am very aware that the feeling is bordering on stupid and yet, with him, I could not care less, much less control it. He takes my momentary silence for a bid for reciprocity and tries to slide his hand down but I stop him, entwining our hands, pushing our arms up against the wall, chests so close they push against each other on every breath. I look at him intensely, seeing the blue being swallowed up by black even further. I force the words out, deadly serious.

„Don’t. I will come within you. I will be your first and your last.“

He releases a shuddering breath and relaxes against me, accepting and surrendering and I breathe his name, nosing along the side of his face, finally allowing myself the taste I wished to have so desperately before, sweat and blood and -him-. I have to force my hand to stop shaking, another first, opening his shirt and it falls open, the smile on his stomach calling to me and for a beat everything freezes, until Will softly prompts me, a smile twitching around his lips.

„You can touch it.“

I exhale shudderingly and swallow passed the constriction in my throat. My finger hovers over his skin, touching just so and he draws his stomach in, fighting to keep still and I store this information away for later, a vision of tickling him until he is crying with laughter flitting through my brain. I decide it can wait and press back into him, kissing him hard, unable to resist, now that I am actually allowed, testing the boundaries again, lightly biting at his lips. I cannot think, and it should probably astonish me more, but right now there is no further thought, one single word only available right now.

„Upstairs.“

„What of …“

I push a finger to his lips and shake my head, turning and pulling him along. Or I try to, because Will starts giggling again after a moment, probably seeing me limp, his voice unsteady with mirth.

„The lame and the wounded….“

I try to stay serious and reprimanding but I cannot, not with his eyes sparkling at me in the dim light, the flash of his teeth and the open happiness, directed at me, now, at the last. I grab his curls and pull him in, eat his mouth, pressing him against the banister, the feeling of being allowed oh so addictive, as is his taste, elusive and fleeting, and I chase it, slowly grinding against him.  
He licks his lips when I finally draw back a bit, eyes crinkling.

„Well, it seems we have found a solution for our arguments.“

I follow his mood, keeping it light, though the undertone of regret is noticed by him.

„If only we would have been able to employ this course of action sooner.“

He stares at me, swallowing, his question very soft.

„How long?“

For a fleeting moment I doubt and think about obfuscating, hiding behind one of my famous person suits, pretentious wording, but he is so far in, he would readily rip them off and leave me bleeding, so I opt for the simple truth, a part of me knowing I will always do so, from now on.

„I had heard of you before I met you. But you have been in my thoughts since I laid eyes on you. It did not occur to me how much you mean to me until Tobias Budge claimed to have killed you however.“

He looks at me with a faraway look, unable to not push at the wound.

„And yet you let me take the fall for you. Had me believe…“

I interrupt, sighing heavily.

„The mechanisms to change the flow of time still elude me. I have tried, unsuccessfully, for though I do not engage in regret much, there are actions I would nonetheless direct differently now.“

Another quiet moment between us, the moonlight playing with the shadows in his hair, and I wait, wait for his lead, for his forgiveness. His words humble me, quiet and serious, yet playful and full of warmth.

„I do not have anyone except you now. You took everyone away. You better make it worth my while.“

I look at his mouth, forming the words and there is another telltale knot in my throat, my fingers flexing in his hair. I see him coming closer and my heartbeat kicks up, and my eyes fall closed of their own accord and this time, this time it is a kiss that seals our fate. Not lust, not only, but everything he makes me feel and I force the tears I can feel well up down. He shifts and my thigh slots between his legs, my erection pushing against him, and he gasps and I feel the answering twitch, my breath rushing silently from me.

Will takes the lead this time, dragging me up the stairs with our linked hands, and I squeeze his fingers, happy to follow. His palms are sweaty and I frown, stopping us at the top of the stairs, softly cupping his head, quietly imploring and utterly honest, smirking just a bit.

„Will. This is not an inevitability. I will happily let you take me or wait until you are ready. I will not force you. We can also just take a shower and sleep now.“

Will shakes his head and I nod after a moment, accepting his decision, and the course of action when he draws me into the bathroom with him. Undressing him feels like a trance, my eyes trying to behold everything about him, for the first time willingly shown. I make a mental note to correct some of my drawings, reality surpassing my imaginings, my eyes traveling along his torso, following his arms, to our fingers, seeing his shaking. Badly. Yet he pushes on, stepping into the shower, unrelenting and I smile at his back, my mongoose being so brave. He tilts his head up in the spray, his neck arching sensually and I lick at the blood that’s washing away, the need to follow his scent settling in my gut and I know what to do. I wash his hair, slowly, sensually, and he braces against the shower wall, a feast, for only me to devour and I grin, intending to take full advantage.

I softly inspect his new scars by touch, carefully tracing the smile that so intimately marks him as mine. He reaches back, his fingers ghosting over the barely healed wound in my side and pushes us more together and I succumb, mouthing at his neck, feeling him shudder and tilt his head for better access and I bite down at the same spot as before, making him hiss. His voice, dark and gravelly and oh so brave makes me snarl, proud and vicious.

„Show me.“

I hide my smile against his back and start nipping where I can reach, starting to tease now, storing away any information I can glean away as I go. He is extremely sensitive when I pinch his nipples, bucking back against me, gasping and I chuckle, a quiet bliss merging with the lust. I grin, unseen and pull him back by the hips, and drop to my knees and he freezes, catching on of course, his arousal coming off of him in waves, intoxicating and addictive.

I grin again and then decide not to overly tease this time, going right in, my tongue making him shout sharply and I groan with the scent and taste, clean after our shower, just him, just him, in the purest form. He is moaning constantly now, seeking purchase against the tile, goose bumped and shivering, giving himself to my ministrations until I know he is almost there again, the pulse in his thigh hammering against my squeezing fingers.

I stop again, definitely close myself, panting and turn the shower off, before I grin at him, the muscles in my cheeks hurting from using them so much and towel us dry perfunctory, making sure to take the edge off our need with the soft chafing. I get out and then rinse my mouth, turning to Will afterwards, letting all the desire shine through, and I know he can see it.

„Bed?“

He nods jerkily and I draw another shuddering breath, taking the vision that he is in - still somewhat wet, face flushed, lips bruised and deep red, hair a mess, his cock standing proud and beautifully. I let the hunger show, my lips twitching and I see him shiver in reaction, the scent of precome permeating the air.

Will raises his head, once more accepting the challenge and then he turns and walks to my bedroom without hesitation, and I let the fierce darkness in me enter my soul, stalking after him, seeing him shiver again with the feeling of being hunted. He turns and looks at me unflinchingly and I trail a thumb along his lips, breathing this moment. He breaks his cocoon, once more unpredictable, whispering against my finger.

„Do you want me on my back or my knees?“

My stomach drops, and I grab him, almost violently, the kiss frantic and he rises to the challenge, giving as good as he gets, and I groan when his teeth catch my tongue, pull roughly on my hair. I rear back and shove him onto the bed, watch him spread himself for me, a beautiful, unpredictable and vicious siren, tempting me to feel. I stalk to the nightstand, retrieve the lube that I put there for myself and crawl over to him, eyes locked to his. I straddle him and kneel above him, feeling the twitch against my ass when I lean down and cage him in and I smile sharply at him, bending down to whisper.

„I will make you scream.“

His breath hitches and he fists the sheets and I look at him for a split second before making good on that promise, worshipping his body, licks and bites and kisses everywhere, finally, finally allowed, the exultation raw in what society calls a soul. He is mewling softly when I breathe across his cock, slapping his hands away grinning, the intensity mixed with a strange levity at finally breaching this frontier, here, with him. He is panting, looking at me through his lashes and I let him see, covering my fingers with the lube, warming it and he swallows and pulls his knees up for me and I snarl, our gazes locked. I push his right thigh up more with my left and use the moment to press in with my right forefinger, my thumb pressing against his perineum and he moans quietly and I pet him softly, knowing the strangeness of it all, determined to make it good. I push in further and he is so loose from our shower and I add a finger, making him freeze and I let his thigh go, stroking and petting until his body gives and I use the opportunity to home in, rubbing at his prostrate and he snaps up, in a full body jerk, moaning loudly, and I grin, rubbing passed it on purpose the next few strokes, missing it, enjoying the hissed curses he throws my way immensely. Words fail him after a few minutes, reduced to moans and grunts and pants and staccato moans when I almost brush against his prostrate. I make sure to hit it again when I push in three fingers, making him whine and I am shaking a bit, our gaze locked, eyes dark, feeding on his pleasure.

I pull my fingers free and his moan hitches in his throat and I raise my eyebrows, feeling flayed open with worship and need, carefully lubing myself up, feeling out of body, which is definitely another first. He reaches for me and how could I not, his arms coming around me, and I take his right hand again with my left, pushing it up over his head, grabbing his left thigh with my other, oh so slowly lining up.  
I squeeze his fingers, silently asking, terrified of this moment, shocking myself, my lips hovering over his mouth. I rock down an inch, feeling the head of my cock catch and hear his gasp before he closes his eyes for an instant. When he opens them again they are blue fire, open and deep, corners crinkling with feeling.

„Please.“

I feel the answering little smile on my own face and lower my forehead to his, and push. I keep it slow and it is extremely slow going, and I know it is hurting him, I am hurting him, his eyes closed, rigid underneath me. I keep the momentum, knowing it’ll help in the end, gasping when I bottom out, freezing over him, eyes flitting over his face. I cannot help but plead, nosing softly at his face.

„Breathe.“

He obeys and I revel in the power that rushes through me, snarling again and I pet him, stroking, feeling him relax a bit after a moment, anticipating his answering demand, and only too happy to fulfill it.

„Move.“

His voice is hard, and I smirk and obey, rocking softly, feeling him relax more with the motion, knowing the weird feeling, slowly merging with pleasure. I wait, see his eyes open, and then darken ever more before his voice pierces through the almost trance like reverie. 

„More.“

I descend on him, kissing him deeply, sloppily, tongue going deep and he, he gives as good as he gets, wet heat fusing us together. I truly start the motion, still careful, catering to his reactions, until he is moaning brokenly on my push, whining on the pull. His face is a maelstrom of contradicting emotions, hurt and elation, pain and pleasure mixing together so enticingly.  
I drink every twitch in and then shift my grip, wanting to see, needing to see, bending him up and I power into him, making my promise to him true when he screams at me through his gritted teeth, suffused in agonized pleasure. He pulls me down even further, throwing his head back, giving himself over to what I do to him and something in me breaks, our history coming together like the fusion of our bodies, inevitable like the tides.  
I feel his body succumb, tighten around me and I need his eyes, I need to see them. I gasp his name and turn my head, feel him do the same until we can look at each other and his eyes are huge, black, the slightest sliver of blue around the iris, portraying every emotion so honestly it hurts.  
My eyes tear up and I blink, knowing he can see right through me, letting him see. I smile softly though he cannot see it and then pull out slightly, greedy for his ecstasy. I whisper, timing the words with the thrust against his prostrate.

„Come for me.“

And Will does, his cock untouched between us. It’s like a seizure of his whole body, clamping down around me, pulsing beneath and around me and I follow, of course, dimly reflecting that I would always follow him, now, in this, in our life together before I cannot think anymore, all around me ‚Will‘.

_________________

 

I am aware I am holding him in a death grip, returning to feeling my body and his, -his-, slowly. He is still beneath me, still clinging to me, and we are still joined and I cannot not, I need to feel him as close as I can and I nuzzle down, parts of me breaking even more, some of the hurt between us dropping salty from my eyes to his skin. Will slowly draws his arm from around my neck, softly stroking my scalp and I feel him undulate slightly, his legs dropping from where they were locked around my waist and I force myself up and slightly separate, knowing it hurts once more but his eyes are locked on mine, unflinching, looking through my soul. Still, I have to.

„Will, I.. I apologize.“

It’s rare that I speak this word and it encompasses so much more than this night. And of course he knows. He shakes his head and places his left hand fingers against my lips, frowning when his gaze catches on his ring finger. I withdraw further, something in me hurting instantly, deeply, scrambling to collect the pieces of my armor. He shakes his head again, very quickly, his words rushed to halt what he knows I am trying to achieve.

„Take it off for me.“

I stop. Again. The armor in me melts, leaving only incandescent obsessive love in its wake and I raise my eyes to his, watching him swallow, hard, eyes dilating in helpless arousal once more. I drag my right hand up, feel him shiver beneath me, our chests catching on every breath. My fingers tremble when I push the ring off, slowly and I have to concentrate very hard to put it on the nightstand. I take a deep breath, forcing the words out passed the constriction in my throat.

„What about it now?“

Will regards me for a moment, silently contemplating, and I can tell he makes an effort to keep the words light.

„Well, you took it from me. So, if we make this work, you’ll have to go and replace it.“

It… hurts and it takes my breath away. It’s the only thing I am aware of for a long while, just looking at him and then everything in me breaks free, the need, the obsessiveness, the hurt, the darkness, the elation, the greed, the fierceness, the … love. I let him see and let him know.

„I will not let you go, now.“

Will smiles. To everyone else, this would have been a threat. I echo his smile, letting our love mold our darkness.

„Where do we go from here?“

He sneers, the motion on his lips one that I wish to feel beneath my lips indeed.

„How about we pay a visit to an old friend?“

**Author's Note:**

> >> As always: Criticism and feedback ARE WELCOME and I THRIVE ON COMMENTS!!  
> Please feed my muse :)


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